Why Women Pursue Powerful Men, Part 3 of 3

Adam and Eva

Social biology propels women to pursue powerful men, but most women, with an average need for power, stomp hard on the brake of common sense, avoiding fast lane affairs destined to personal pain and public humiliation.

However, the biology of women with high need for power, like Paula Broadwell and Jill Kelley, trumps good judgment, as seen in the most recent scandal affecting the uppermost echelon of our military and the CIA.

   Most women admit to a sexual attraction to men of power, like David Petraeus, but only the most powerful of women will dare to chase the challenge. Paula Broadwell, former mistress of General David Petraeus, and Jill Kelley, the “flirtatious” socialite who tried to position herself to broker a major arms deal, are our most recent examples of this feminine high risk pursuit. If it hadn’t been for one gal snitching about the other to the FBI, would they have have carried on as before, immune to scandal?

  Are Powerful Women Really Immune to Scandal?

  While the biological power differential is present in romantic-sexual relationships, ill-timed attraction to an ill-chosen partner, for most of us, kick starts the frontal lobe of the brain where reason and fairness is housed. Powerful women pursuing even more powerful men do not believe they are putting spouses, children, and even national security at risk. What they do believe is that their power will protect their  secrets.

Power women, just like power men, live in a bubble of collusion where they are rarely challenged, have easy access, and have the confidence to believe they will never be caught. The world admires men like David Petraeus and Bill Clinton who flip off reason as they spread their sperm around. After a few remarks of, “How could he?” and some tongue clicking, we forgive their indiscretions and these men move on to yet another power position.    We are not so forgiving of the women. Powerful women are less relatable to women with less need for power, and also to men who have no sexual attraction to women with more power than they have.

   What Will Happen to the Players?

    Generals Petraeus and Allen have been briefly banished to the porch, but soon will again run with the big dogs. Jill Kelley will lose her socialite position, being lucky to find a volunteer position at the local dog shelter, as close as she’ll ever get again to the power dogs. She will both bask and isolate in the notoriety. Broadwell, despite her credentials and good works, will neither bask nor recover her former prestige.

 We will kick Paula Broadwell to the curb of permanent shame and humiliation where she’ll find other women who dared to ignore the risks and have sexual affairs with powerful men. As a society, we will truly be evolved when we forgive the indiscretions of not only the men, but also the women.

I invite you to “follow by email” to be notified of new posts. You’ll find this email feature on the right-hand side near the top.   You may also like to read:

 

  Why Powerful Men Cheat Why Women Pursue Powerful Men, Part 1

 

 

Why Women Pursue Powerful Men, Part 2

 

 

Ready for an Affair?

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Dr. B

Why Women Pursue Powerful Men, Part 1 of 3

  topic: extramarital affairs __________________________________________

We are voyeurs to power, tracking the Petraeus scandal, searching for vicarious reflections of ourselves. Power, the aphrodisiac attracting women to alpha men, is a universal phenomenon currently being played out by larger than life women, Paula Broadwell and Jill Kelley. We, bags of popped corn in hand, took front row seats to watch Kelley slash Broadwell’s sexual liaison with CIA director and four-star general David Petraeus, a power connection Broadwell was destined to pursue. Staying for the second act, we saw Kelly act out her own power issues by countless pages of “flirtatious” emails to and from General John Allen, the current Commander-In-Chief in Afghanistan and the nominee for the Supreme Commander of NATO. As the tragedy turns comedic, we watch and wonder:

How does aphrodisiac of power make women succumb to and even pursue men of power?

Why are many willing to risk the shame of public exposure?

Why would these women resort to email cat fights and squeal to the FBI to protect their positions?

Answers to these questions are found deep in the DNA of our ancient biology. In this post we’ll look at how most of us juggle lust and reason to either keep from or submit to an extramarital affair.

The Reckless Sperm and the Cautious Egg

The feminine root of this story of sex, power, risk, and exposure is simple unbridled sexuality. Social biology tells us that sexual behavior is chiefly biological, assuring continuation of the species. Men increase their chances of reproducing their genetic material by spreading their millions of sperm around to as many women as possible. Women, with only one egg a month to pledge to their fertility, apply caution in sharing their egg. While men may accuse them of holding out, they are merely acting out their biological imperative of waiting for a powerful man to fight off the lions and help care the egg. In contemporary times the power element is ladies’ choice: physical, intellectual, social, financial, or political, but the biological goal is the same—capture or surrender to a man of power.

This biological imperative of wide sperm distribution provokes and pesters the peckers of average men, but most, protecting their spouse and children, restraint their urges to wander in the path of Johnny Appleseed as he spread his seed across the land. Why is it that many men didn’t get the memo to avoid roving rendezvous? For men, the higher their own perception of power, the more risks they will take.

Women, however, are biologically predestined to exert caution in sharing their egg, as seen in statistics showing that fewer women than men have affairs. Most women follow this directive by pairing with a man more powerful than them for a primary relationship. While they find men with more power than their spouses sexually attractive, most take no risks in pursuing these men. If secure in her partner’s power being greater than her own, and if he is helping to raise the hypothetical egg, she is unlikely to wander.

In Part 2 of Why Women Pursue Powerful Men we’ll look at how the unique biology of powerful woman compels them to ignore the millions of miles of available penis, risking public shame and humiliation to pursue a four-star phallus.

__________________________

For more on relationships, link to my book: Win at Love!: 5 Hidden Forces to Make It Happen

You’ll find tons of good information to help you Win at Love.

Questions?
Send your questions to me at totallywinatlove@yahoo.com

Hope to hear from you soon,
Dr. B

WHY POWERFUL MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO CHEAT

Topic: extramarital affairs and powerful men _____________________________________

Four-star general and former head of the CIA, David Petraeus, is the latest casualty in the ranks of powerful men who love and lose. Why are these men thirty percent more likely to risk all for a little extra nooky? Do their brains work differently than the average man? Are they more likely to get away with it? Do they really loose or, like Bill Clinton, do they rebound stronger than ever?

Research on power and sexuality shows us four major reasons why powerful men want more and also take more than the average guy. Petraeus and countless power men before him have what mere mortal men do not have—an overabundance of BAHL:         

 Brains are wired differently

Powerful men are more likely to be addicted to adrenalin rushes and will take increasing risks in both their professional and personal lives to maintain their adrenalin high. Research show us that specific areas of the brain light up when people feel powerful. A lit up brain combined with a power mindset commands an uncommon carnal curiosity. However, at times, a cigar is just a cigar and not a sex toy.

 Ample availability

Men of position and power tend to travel more frequently and for longer periods of time than most men. Lonely and looking, it takes no effort at all to pair with a woman willing to pass some passionate time together. Power, the absolute aphrodisiac for women, causes many to disregard risk of public disgrace as they fall at the feet or phallus of a powerful man.

 High confidence quotient

Radiating high levels of confidence from their successes, these men feel invulnerable. Their inflated degree of confidence causes them to believe they will never get caught. On the rare occasion of exposure, their ample abilities and resources serve to conceal their affairs from public scrutiny. Arnold Schwarzenegger confidently covered up his in-house domestic-with- benefits for more than 14 years. It remains to be seen how long Petraeus has hidden his long-standing association with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. Only the FBI’s concern about her possible access to classified information brought the affair to the light of public opinion.

 Live in a bubble of collusion

Powerful men, like Petraeus, are surrounded by operatives dedicated to protecting the power person. Their collusion stems from their belief in their leader and their willingness to look the other way. Others collude and conspire to retain the benefits of the rewards and protections afforded by the inner circle. Whatever the reason, these folks are willing to challenge neither the thinking nor the behavior of their superior, leading to an unrealistic self-view of the power person.

Powerful men with their hot-wired brains and extreme self-confidence will always attract women who will take great risks to be with them. Due to the bubble of collusion they are rarely challenged or caught. David Petraeus will bounce back just like the powerful men before him. He committed no crime and has a great deal to offer the U.S. He will not be the Director of the CIA because of the possible security risks inherent in clandestine affairs, but mark my words; he’ll soon be in another power position.

In the next blog let’s look at why women are attracted to powerful men. Thanks for stopping by. I’d love for you to share your thoughts before you leave.
   

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You may also like to read:

The Infidelity of General Petraeus by Gina Putt

Why Do Powerful Men Risk It All to Cheat? By Dr. Terri Orbuch

___________________________________   
For more on relationships, link to my book: Win at Love!: 5 Hidden Forces to Make It Happen

You’ll find tons of good information to help you Win at Love.

Questions?
Send your questions to me at totallywinatlove@yahoo.com

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Hope to hear from you soon,
Dr. B